It’s a Christmas tradition. Every year, Texas-based retailer Neiman Marcus includes over-the-top luxury items in its annual Christmas book. And for this year’s 100th Anniversary edition, the store has pulled out all the stops. Know anyone who wants a $35,000 dragon topiary in their front yard? And that’s just the beginning. This year’s fantasy gift list includes:

• His & Hers portrait–in chocolate–by artist portrait Vik Muniz: You’ll get a framed 60 x 40 inch likeness painted with Bosco syrup for a mere $110,000. And Muniz will donate his share of the proceeds to a Brazilian charity for underprivileged children. It’s chocolate without the guilt.
• The Gem Triton 1000 submarine: This $1.4 million baby comes with all available options, including leather seats, a gemstone joystick and matching key chain, and AC. And a two-day training program, in case your submarining skills are rusty.
• The Vertu Signature Diamond Phone is Neiman’s answer to the iPhone. For $73,000 you’ll get one-touch 24-hour global concierge service, and service in 150 countries packaged in an 18-carat rose-gold case with 7.2 carats of white and pink diamonds. And there are just 100 phones like it in the world.
• How about a concert for the classical music lover in your life? The Kirov Orchestra will perform for you and 499 of your nearest and dearest for $1.59 million. The all-Tchaikovsky program, which will be hosted by Regis Philbin, features the Nutcracker Suite, the Tchaikovsky “Piano Concerto,” and another Tchaikovsky piece of your own choosing.