Night Before Christmas (Webmaster Version)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, I’d gone to bed early
My click-thrus were down and I felt kinda surly.
I’d chugged a few shots of Jack straight from the bottle
Sufficiently numb, off to bed I did toddle.

I lay there awake, cause no matter how toasted
I couldn’t stop thinking of sites that I hosted
My Adsense was down and the worst of my fears
Told me something must give or I’d soon work at Sears.

I’d just closed my eyes, though my head danced with visions
of SEO schemes and new Google provisions.
There has to be some way to highlight my sites.
I need some good SERPs ‘fore they turn off my lights

But just as I started to dream of red numbers
A racket above woke me up from my slumbers.
I sat up and listened, did I really hear it?
Naah that’s silly, I went went back to sleep (or darn near it).

Then a noise from the den! Where’s my Louisville Slugger?
I crept down the stairs… filled with dread of some mugger.
Shoulda called 911 first, oh well, it’s too late.
I rounded the corner, ill prepared to meet fate.

But nothing prepared me for what was afoot
By my fireplace stood Greg Hartnett covered in soot.
I knew it was him, we’d met six months before
But why is he here tracking soot on my floor?

I had no idea what to say at this time
This guy made too much dough to be turning to crime.
But what he did next was a godsend to me
He sat down at my desk and turned on my PC.

Into Best of the Web all my sites he inserted
Though the entry illegal, my crisis was averted.
I still had to know how he came by this task,
I mustered my courage, I just had to ask.

Well, Santa was sick, and was stuck home in bed
so to get off the “Naughty List” Brian Prince said
He would offer to serve as replacement for Santa
But sent Greg when his own flight got stuck in Atlanta.

There was just no reply to be made to such news
So I stood mute as he vanished back up the flu.
Running outside I thought as he moved oer my roof
My insurance is silent on “damage by hoof”.

But it turned out the sleigh wasnt powered by deer
But instead it was editors. Now he shouted with cheer…
“On Laisha, on Kfander, on Suz and Bluedarter,
on Mitch and Rzan, Hey KC! Must pull harder!”

I dont know just how, but they started to fly
So I called out once more as they lept to the sky…
“Hey Greg! That’s amazing… how’d you make that thing go?”
He called back “Hey it’s YOUR dream, so how should I know?”

Win a Big Screen TV
If by chance Greg doesn’t make it to your house this year… (we’ll assume it was an oversight, surely you didn’t end up on the “Naughty list” beside Brian)… then win a big screen TV or take advantage of the specials as listed in the prior post here on the BOTW Blog.

Merry Christmas to all from the crew at Best of the Web! ~ Rob Jones

     

12 Responses to “Night Before Christmas (Webmaster Version)”

  1. Brian says:

    Somehow I *always* seem to get pegged on the naughty list – I wonder what everybody else knows that I don’t……. ;-)

  2. Rob Jones says:

    Probably getting credit for deeds of someone else in a BOTW shirt. [See also "Law of Unintended Consequences] Hey, it’s a theory.

  3. SEO Man says:

    You are a bit warped but I like it. For me, I spend my dreams on Christmas Eve on more traditional things. You know, Sugar and Spice and a little T and A. ;)

    Keep well my friend and a safe and family filled Christmas to you and the whole staff! :)

  4. [...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onBOTW Blog » Blog Archive » Night Before Christmas (Webmaster Version)Here’s a quick excerpt‘Twas the night before Christmas, I’d gone to bed early. My click-thrus were down and I felt kinda surly. I’d chugged a few shots of Jack straight from the bottle. Sufficiently numb, off to bed I did toddle. … [...]

  5. Rob Jones says:

    LOL… T & A? Well, Tums and Alka-Seltzer *are* pretty much a holiday staple.

    Have a good holiday. Hope Santa (or Greg?) leaves you something good. :-)

  6. bbrian017 says:

    This was so awesome!

    Thanks for sharing with us.

    Happy Holidays!

  7. Have a Merry Christmas Rob from homebizseo

    Regards, Greg

  8. KC says:

    Must… pull… harder! Well, there’s always next year.

  9. Robo says:

    Merry Christmas to all the UK’ers and Happy holidays to the rest :)

    Have a great one guys n gals.

    Just adding my Santa bit to the pot…..

    Flying throught the air…dodging the trees
    Falling down chimney’s and skinning my knees
    I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
    I”ll sit on my fat @ss and draw unemployment.

    There’s no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,

    I found me a blonde.
    I’m going south for the season!

    Regards
    Robin

  10. Greg says:

    Good work RJ. My first role as protagonist. I like it!

  11. David Slone says:

    Hey Rob, I loved the poem it was very well written and made perfect sense (about AdSense). Yeah, I know Christmas is over now but I just found this today.

    Gotta be one of the best versions of the old standby

  12. Well done…….. Very interesting post……………